Bad Mommy

Remember what I wrote about being supermom? Well, in an effort to keep it real, let me explain what I did yesterday...

Monday is laundry day in our house, so before I even had breakfast, I decided to get a load of laundry going. But first, I had to empty the dryer of the laudry that I had been so proud of myself for starting on Sunday night. Imagine my complete horror when I realized that I had put a small box of crayons that were in my pocket through the washer and dryer. This particular batch of now spotted laundry included: Kara's t-ball uniform, my favorite jeans, Dave's favorite shorts and a brand new pair of khakis my mom had just bought for me.

Let me just say from the outset that this "laundry error" could not be blamed on anyone else but me. I alone was dumb enough to put crayons in my pocket, and I alone did the laundry. Also, I should be clear that I understand that spotted clothes are not the end of the world. They are, after all, just clothes. Finally, I also realize that when you are a parent and wife it is important to moderate and control your behavior so as to prevent you from alienating your spouse and terrifying your children.

I did not, however, let any of these facts stand in the way of throwing a huge tantrum. That's right, I had a complete meltdown filled with cursing, slamming of doors, throwing of objects and screaming at the world. It was epic. And when Dave tried to offer some comfort by way of putting the stained clothes into some perspective, I essentially told him to shut up and leave me alone. Nice. It was at that point that Kara started to cry. So on top of my rage at having made such a stupid mistake, I poured on a heaping pile of shame at how I was acting in front of my husband and family.

After Dave left for work, I did manage to pull myself together to comfort Kara and get her off to school. I then spent the rest of the morning wallowing in self-recrimination, trolling the internet for stain removal advice and attempting get the crayon tie-dye off of our clothes. In the light of the day after, though, I can appreciate the "silver lining" to what will be forever known as "Mommy's crayon episode."

-First, I had a wonderful friend, Valerie, to call. She offered comfort and support without judgement. Not only that, she called back to check in later in the day with more wise words that assured me that I had not scarred my kids or my marriage irreparably. (She also offered the very insightful observation that when your husband tries to offer you perspective when you clearly have lost all of yours, it is just the nudge you need to push you over the cliff into a sea of irrationality.)
-Second, I was able to apologize to Kara and Dave and they were gracious enough to accept my apology with their typical kindness and generosity.
-Third, I got the damn stains out of almost everything! I am a laundry goddess! (Except when I am a laundry doofus.) The magic formula? Soak in hot water, Borax and Clorox 2 for at least an hour. Wash with 1 cup detergent, 1 cup Borax and 1 cup Clorox 2.

Here are the variety of cleaning products I used on Monday. A little out of control.